Mangagement

Nope, I've not misspelled management, this blog post is going to be about MANgagement. I'll explain.

A few weeks after Ryan proposed to me we were sat at home and he asked me if I'd buy him an engagement ring. Nothing too fancy, just something he could wear to show people that he was engaged. I was quite surprised. In fact a while back I'd read an article, in Cosmo I think, about a new trend that saw men wearing engagement rings and women doing the proposing. I must admit that my first reaction was laughter. Men wearing engagement rings? That's just silly*. My dad and most of the men I knew growing up didn't even wear wedding rings! But now I was being faced with the same thing in my own relationship and the more I thought about it the more I loved the idea. Now, I can't believe that I didn't offer up the suggestion myself. My fiance wanted a physical manifestation of our promise to marry each other and who was I to be selfish and say that an engagement ring was something reserved only for women?

So now Ryan wears an engagement ring. I tried to take a photo of it but my camera wouldn't focus properly. Its a simple titanium band with three stones in a line across it. The next day he showed it off to all of his colleagues and he tells me with a smile on his face every time someone new notices his ring and comments on it. People, I'm lucky. I'm lucky to have a man who is so proud of our commitment that he wants to share it with the world and I can't wait to marry him!


*Just wanted to add that I had no issue with women proposing to their partners. I understand that the dynamic of each relationship is different and there shouldn't be limitations on who does the proposing.

Going on an adventure

I've been reading loads of wedding related material lately and whilst I'm getting loads of inspiration its also made me realise... I have no idea what I want. I suppose its the same for many bride-to-bes, but even then they must have some sort of inkling as to what their tastes are. I don't. The one thing that both Ryan and I agree on is that our Wedding should be a reflection of who we are and the love that we share. I just don't know what that is. I don't feel like we have enough life experience to make ourselves the centre of such a big day. For instance, the flowers, I'd love them to be symbolic of a moment or experience that we've shared and for that to be so we need to have actually shared a significant moment or experience. Not that we haven't already, but most of our days are lost sat in front of the computer or TV. We'd have to have daffodils as our wedding flowers because they grew in the front garden once.


For those reasons I want the next few years in the run up to our Wedding to be an adventure. Then, when the day actually rolls around, we can share everything that we've discovered with all the people we love. Now that's my dream wedding day.

Another great thing about the wedding day being so far in the future is that it gives me plenty of time to get into shape. As well as limited life experience, an expanded waistline is also a side effect of nights spent glued to the box. I need to completely overhaul my relationship to food and exercise if I'm going to look good for my big day. I'm uncomfortable being the centre of attention as it is and I avoid going out because I'm uncomfortable with the weight I've gained in the past few years. The proposal almost didn't happen because I felt too insecure to travel all the way to London and be around so many people. Obviously I really need to change that in time for the Wedding because I don't want to have a meltdown the night before! So, to try and push myself to lose weight I'm going to start a separate blog for my weight-loss so I don't end up filling my wedding planning blog with posts about detox and exercise. I want this blog to be something I can look back on and show friends and family.

I'll come back in a few days and post the link to my weight loss blog.

Where to start?

Now that the initial blissful haze of getting engaged has lifted slightly I've suddenly realised "Oh crap! We have to organise a day-long party, wear the most expensive outfits we've ever owned and invite a whole bunch of people that we hope love us enough to turn up!" Dearie-me! Of course I know we don't have to do it that way but.... we want to do it that way. I think we're both imagining a beautiful day surrounded by close family and friends that we'll remember for the rest of our lives. I'm grinning just writing about it... Ok, ok, feet on the ground! We've made a few little decisions about the Wedding so first things first;

The Date

Now then. Ryan and I are by no means poor, we live comfortably, but extra cash is a bit hard to come by, any that we do come by we use to pay off debts, and its because of this that we've decided to have a long-ish engagement. We're currently working with late August/early September 2014. We want our wedding to be a big occasion with all the frills and trimmings and we've had to be honest with ourselves. We just can't achieve that on a shoestring budget. In order to live your fantasy you have to be realistic, and our reality here is we need to save up for a long time and we figured three and a half years ought to do it, but we're prepared to wait longer to get what we want.

Budget

We haven't the foggiest how much we're going to be able to spend. I really should pull my finger out and work out how much we're going to need to save up but I'm not quite ready to drag my head out of the clouds just yet! I have, however, been looking for ways that we can reduce the costs. For instance, I could make the cake myself. In fact I probably should because I want more than the bland tier cakes that fall into my price range. For the same reasons we'll design our own invites and menus and we're considering collecting vases and china from ebay or car boots instead of hiring them. I want the only major spendage to be on the biggies: venues, food, clothes, etc.

Some small details

I have to have a photobooth at the Wedding. Like a photobooth were you get you passport pictures from. It'll be so much fun! But I want to keep the pictures, well copies at least. Also, we both like the idea of giving disposable cameras to guests to take candids with. I love photos, lots of photos.

I've also seen advertised a stamp for a wax seal, custom-made with your initials. I love, love, love the idea of wax sealing our invites and Ryan seemed to like it too.

I've had loads more inspiration, I could write several epic blog posts about all of it but I think I'll leave off with those little titbits.

Engaged!

Yes! After three years together Ryan and I have decided to take the plunge and start planning to get married! Ryan proposed on the London Eye on the 22nd January. Here's a photo of us grinning like idiots, me with make-up running down my face from crying (with happiness!):

I'm not going to share the details on here because I feel sort of protective over the whole thing but I'd be happy to tell anybody who knows me personally. My ring is so lovely. I'd already seen it before the proposal because Ryan had bought it a month earlier, he told me it was an anniversary present to wear on the third finger of my right hand as a sneaky way of making sure it fit my ring finger. I thought it was gorgeous beforehand but now it means so much more. It's a physical manifestation of our love and commitment to each other and already, less than a week later I feel a little bit lost when I'm not wearing it.

I think we're still on a bit of a high from the amazingness of it all. In many ways living as an engaged couple is no different from how we were living before and I still like to call Ryan my boyfriend in private as saying it seems cute now, like a pet name. I'm very aware now though, of the seriousness of it all. Before I'd had no doubt in my mind that Ryan was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and now it seems real. Ryan and I have both said that we only want to get married once in our lives so it's scary that we've made such a huge decision but we couldn't be happier!

I'm going to keep this blog updated with everything wedding and marriage related so I can keep faraway friends and family up-to-date, and also in the hope that I can connect with other people who are at a similar stage in their lives!